What I'm Reading: The Best Books I Read in 2019
When I was younger, I was a voracious reader, to the point of obsession. I was reading as early as two years old and I spent more time with my nose in a book befriending fictional characters than I did interacting with real life friends. I was always the kid jumping out of my seat with excitement to read aloud in class, the one running ahead at the Scholastic Book Fair to get the latest publications, and the one who’d prefer to curl up in a corner with a good book rather than kick a ball around a hot field. Yet at some point in high school and college, I got distracted from reading for pleasure. I was too consumed with reading monotonous class assignments and fulfilling all the other various obligations to which I’d committed myself. But I sorely missed the ease with which I could slip into a good book and the escapism of entering someone else’s world for awhile. I would occasionally find a good read here or there, but it had been years since I’d read continuously for my own enjoyment.
So I made it a goal for myself at the beginning of 2019 to read more, committing to read at least 3 books a month, of which two would be fiction and one would be non-fiction. I am happy to report that not only did I achieve that goal, I actually exceeded it! The only way I was able to achieve this was by downloading Audible so that I could listen to audiobooks. I used to think that I wasn’t “an audiobook person.” I’d tried Kindle and didn’t like it. I told myself (and others) that I needed a physical book in my hands to really absorb it. Well, needless to say, I was wrong. I now love audiobooks! I especially love that I am able to multitask while reading. Now I read when I’m getting ready in the morning, while I’m cooking dinner, while I’m editing photos, while I’m driving, while I’m traveling…all without having to carry around a physical book! It’s made a huge difference and allowed me to literally blaze through book after book!
I figured I should start sharing all of the things I have been reading so that I may inspire you, too, to read some more! I’ll start here by listing my favorite books that I read in 2019 and then in consecutive months, I’ll write monthly updates of what I’ve read and will be reading. I would love to hear from you as well—if there’s anything you think I should add to my reading list or if you’ve read any of the books I mention, comment below!
Becoming by Michelle Obama
“For every door that’s been opened to me, I’ve tried to open my door to others. And here is what I have to say, finally: Let’s invite one another in. Maybe then we can begin to fear less, to make fewer wrong assumptions, to let go of the biases and stereotypes that unnecessarily divide us. Maybe we can better embrace the ways we are the same. It’s not about being perfect. It’s not about where you get yourself in the end. There’s power in allowing yourself to be known and heard, in owning your unique story, in using your authentic voice. And there’s grace in being willing to know and hear others. This, for me, is how we become.”
One of the most popular books of the year for a reason, Michelle Obama also won a Grammy for her reading of the book, amongst other prestigious awards. I can’t remember the last time I cried while reading a book, let alone cried several times throughout, but Michelle is such a powerful writer and speaker that she struck me with her insights.
What I Was Doing While You Were Breeding by Kristin Newman
“…(L)ife is almost never about choosing between one thing you really want and another thing you don't want at all. If you're lucky, and healthy, and live in a country where you have enough to eat and no fear that you're going to get shot when you walk out your door, life is an endless series of choosing between two things you want almost equally. And you have to evaluate and determine which awesome thing you want infinitesimally more, and then give up that other awesome thing you want almost exactly as much. You have to trade awesome for awesome. Everyone I knew, no matter what they chose, was at least a little in mourning for that other thing.”
Okay, so I cheated a bit because I technically read this years ago, but it remains one of my absolute favorite books so I wanted to include it. It seems especially relevant considering the shift towards travel I made last year in my own life. It’s a really humorous account of the author’s global adventures in her twenties and thirties, from foreign lovers to breakdowns on beaches; and it’s full of some incredibly insightful and witty advice that she picked up along the way. This book resounds with me on so many levels and even if you’re not as into grand travel escapades as I am, I’m sure you will appreciate it if only for the great anecdotes.
Deep Work by Cal Newport
“Our brains…construct our worldview based on what we pay attention to. If you focus on a cancer diagnosis, you and your life become unhappy and dark, but if you focus instead on an evening martini, you and your life become more pleasant–even though the circumstances in both scenarios are the same. As Gallagher summarizes: ‘Who you are, what you think, feel, and do, what you love–is the sum of what you focus on.’”
In a century full of nothing but distraction, this book really resonates. We will constantly be bombarded by outside information and too many focus too much of their energies on small mundane tasks that masquerade as productivity. Newport makes the case, instead, for deep work, that which is truly productive and creates real progress towards our work and our goals.
Where’d You Go, Bernadette? by Maria Semple
“‘That's right,' she told the girls. 'You are bored. And I'm going to let you in on a little secret about life. You think it's boring now? Well, it only gets more boring. The sooner you learn it's on you to make life interesting, the better off you'll be.’”
When Bee’s mom, Bernadette, vanishes, Bee must piece together all the clues to figure out where she has gone. What seems like a cute story of a mom and daughter and some quirky tales reveals itself to be a closer look at the ways that denying ourselves our passions will never work out and how multifaceted one person can truly be.
The Alchemist by Paulo Coelho
“There is only one thing that makes a dream impossible to achieve: the fear of failure.”
“And, when you want something, all the universe conspires in helping you to achieve it.”
“The secret of life, though, is to fall seven times and to get up eight times.”
The Alchemist is a classic, certainly, though I’d never read it until this year. It’s poignant in its simplicity and is the kind of book you could read over and over and find new meanings depending on where you are in your life.
The Art of Thinking Clearly by Rolf Dobelli
“Trust your internal observations too much and too long, and you might be in for a very rude awakening. Second, we believe that our introspections are more reliable than those of others, which creates an illusion of superiority. Remedy: Be all the more critical with yourself. Regard your internal observations with the same skepticism as claims from some random person. Become your own toughest critic.”
This book deals with our common cognitive biases, like continuing to do something you know is bad for you or spending money on something frivolous that you know you don’t need. Drawing on cutting-edge research, this book is a guide to making better decisions.
These Truths by Jill Lepore
"A nation born in contradiction will fight forever over the meaning of its history. The past is an inheritance, a gift and a burden. It can’t be shirked. There’s nothing for it but to get to know it."
Yes, this book is a bit of a feat to get through as it’s extensive, but it is, after all, a complete history of the United States. I think that for any American, or even those simply with an interest in America, it’s an extremely important read. They say that those who don’t understand the past are doomed to repeat it and in today’s tumultuous political climate this timely and honest look into how we got to where we are now can shed some light on the issues that seem so polarizing and modern.
Atonement by Ian McEwan
“It wasn't only wickedness and scheming that made people unhappy, it was confusion and misunderstanding; above all, it was the failure to grasp the simple truth that other people are as real as you.”
I finally got around to reading the book that inspired one of my favorite movies of all time starring one of my favorite actresses of all time—Kiera Knightly—and I was in awe. If I thought the movie was good, the book takes it to a whole other level. It’s dark and sort of twisted, definitely not a happy story, but McEwan’s insights are so jarring in their poignance that it’s worth it.
Educated by Tara Westover
“My life was narrated for me by others. Their voices were forceful, emphatic, absolute. It had never occurred to me that my voice might be as strong as theirs.”
I found Tara’s story gripping and disturbing, to say the least, and that kept me reading on. The true story of her childhood growing up in an abusive home and how she managed to escape only by a little chance, a lot of hard work, and by getting herself an education was incredible.
Three Women by Lisa Taddeo
“Throughout history, men have broken women’s hearts in a particular way. They love them or half-love them and then grow weary and spend weeks and months extricating themselves soundlessly, pulling their tails back into their doorways, drying themselves off, and never calling again. Meanwhile, women wait. The more in love they are and the fewer options they have, the longer they wait, hoping that he will return with a smashed phone, with a smashed face, and say, I’m sorry, I was buried alive and the only thing I thought of was you, and feared that you would think I’d forsaken you when the truth is only that I lost your number, it was stolen from me by the men who buried me alive, and I’ve spent three years looking in phone books and now I have found you. I didn’t disappear, everything I felt didn’t just leave. You were right to know that would be cruel, unconscionable, impossible. Marry me.”
This emotionally wrenching book follows the romantic lives of three real women in America that Taddeo spent eight years interviewing and getting to know herself. While each has an entirely different story—one of a loveless marriage, another of a teenager exploited by her older teacher, and the third of a headstrong businesswoman whose husband likes her to sleep with other men and women—the overarching theme shows the deep complexities of love and life and how much women suffer in the crossfire.
Never Split the Difference by Chris Voss
“Negotiate in their world. Persuasion is not about how bright or smooth or forceful you are. It’s about the other party convincing themselves that the solution you want is their own idea. So don’t beat them with logic or brute force. Ask them questions that open paths to your goals. It’s not about you.”
From a former FBI hostage negotiator comes insight on how to convince people to do what you want them to do by understanding what they want. The most important takeaway is that persuasion actually has everything to do with the other person and almost nothing to do with you.
City of Girls by Elizabeth Gilbert
“The world ain't straight. You grow up thinking things are a certain way. You think there are rules. You think there's a way that things have to be. You try to live straight. But the world doesn't care about your rules, or what you believe. The world ain't straight…Never will be. Our rules, they don't mean a thing. The world just happens to you sometimes, is what I think. And people just gotta keep moving through it, best they can.”
From the very first chapter, I knew I was going to love this book, not only because it’s set in a mid-century New York City. It is written as a letter from an older woman to a younger one, reminiscing on the things that happened in her life to get her to where she is now—the mistakes, the heartbreaks, and the various misadventures. It’s a glorious reminder that while life will always be hard, we have no choice but to keep moving forward and doing our best with what we can control.
One Day in December by Josie Silver
“I told him that there comes a point where you have to make the choice to be happy, because being sad for too long is exhausting.”
“‘Sometimes you just meet the right person at the wrong time,’ I say softly. ‘Yeah,’ he says. ‘And then you spend every day afterward wishing that time could be rearranged.’“
One Day in December is one of those sort of cheesy but in a good way love stories. It seems at time hopeless and spans decades, showing that love doesn’t always conquer all—until, just maybe, it does.